


Knock Knock

by alynwa



Series: Sugar and Spies Tales [20]
Category: Man From U.N.C.L.E.
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-20
Updated: 2012-10-20
Packaged: 2017-11-16 16:29:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/541531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alynwa/pseuds/alynwa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Napoleon teaches Leona some jokes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Knock Knock

Four – year – old Leona Nicole Hyun Reilly awoke from her Saturday afternoon nap feeling happy and refreshed. She squeezed her teddy bear, Rollo, and smiled as she looked around her penthouse bedroom. Papa and Daddy had surprised her two nights ago when they had come to Uncle Lamont’s and Aunt Rosie’s house to collect her to bring her home with them. They had told her that they would all be together for a month.

Papa had not come in but had waited in the car for Daddy and her to come out of the house. Uncle Lamont had walked them to the car and shook Papa’s hand when he rolled down the window. Papa said, “As always, thank you Lamont, for taking care of our little girl.”

 

As she got into the back seat, she saw that Papa’s foot was wrapped up and he had his leg up on the seat. “Papa, what happened to your leg?” She leaned on his back and gently reached up to kiss his cheek. “Does it hurt a lot?”

 

The Russian smiled down at her. “Not so much,” he replied, “I sprained it very badly at work but, luckily, Daddy was there to help me. The doctor told me not to put it on the floor for awhile so, he gave me crutches.” He gestured to the long sticks on the other side of him. “That is what these are called. I need to use them to walk for a week or so.”

Daddy got into the front seat with the driver and they headed for home.

 

“Papa! I can make you feel better! I know a joke!”

 

“Tell me.”

 

Leona concentrated for a moment to get her thoughts together. “Papa, why do sharks live in salt water?” She leaned forward slightly so she could see his face completely.

 

Illya looked up and caught Napoleon’s amused looking eyes in the rearview mirror and then looked into the expectant face of that beloved little girl he had refused to leave in South Korea. He cupped her face with his large hand and said, “I do not know. Why _do_ sharks live in salt water?”

 

Her smile threatened to overtake her face. “Because pepper makes them sneeze!” she exclaimed before breaking into a fit of giggles. Her laughter caused her parents to laugh along with her. “Did you like my joke, Papa? Paige told it to me.”

 

Illya bent and kissed her forehead. “Yes, I did and Daddy liked it, too. Thank you for sharing it; I do feel a bit better.”

 

Leona got up and went to look for her Daddy. She found him on the other side of the apartment in the office he and Papa shared. He looked up as she came into the room and pushed away from the desk so she could climb into his lap.

 

“Hello, my Little Pumpkin, did you have a good nap?” He kissed her temple and hugged her close before putting her down. “Did you see Papa before you came to see me?”

 

“Yes, Daddy, my nap was good. I wanted to see you before I see Papa. I want to tell Papa another joke to make him laugh and feel better, but I don’t know anymore. Do you?”

 

Napoleon grinned wickedly at his daughter and answered, “Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. Go tell Papa…”

 

Illya was in his bedroom on the bed reading the latest issue of _Psychology Today_ with his bandaged ankle resting comfortably on a pillow and his back against the headboard. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his daughter stop in front of his doorway to peek through the space the ajar door provided. When she saw he was awake, she said “Knock knock!”

 

“Come in, Leona!”

 

She stepped through the entrance and said, “Papa! You have to say ‘Who is it?’” before going back out into the hallway where she repeated, “Knock knock!”

 

Armed with his instructions, Illya dutifully replied, “Who is it?”

 

“Boo!”

 

Confused, Illya said, “Are you trying to scare me, Leona?”

 

This time, Leona pushed the door opened and placed her hands on her hips. “Papa,” she explained patiently with just a hint of exasperation in her voice, “You’re supposed to say ‘Boo who.’”

 

He removed his glasses and put his magazine down. “I will endeavor to do better. Start from the beginning.”

 

He got a smile just before the toddler backed out of the room. “Knock knock!” she called.

 

“Who is it?”

 

“Boo!”

 

“Boo who?”

 

“Don’t cry, it’s just a joke!” she said as she jumped up and down laughing with glee.

 

Groaning inwardly, Illya held out his arms while Leona ran into them. Kissing both her cheeks, he said, “Thank you for telling me your joke.”

 

“You’re welcome, Papa,” she said before running from the room. Making a mental note to remind her about running in the house, he went back to reading his magazine. Ten minutes later, he heard “Knock knock!”

 

Immediately, he answered, “Who is it?”

 

“Adelia.”

 

“Adelia who?”

 

“Adelia the cards and we’ll play Go Fish!” This time she didn’t come in but instead, went laughing back down the hall.

 

 _Oh, what new torture is this?_ he thought. He waited in anticipation of Leona Nicole’s return but, when she hadn’t returned after twenty minutes, he shrugged his shoulders and picked up his magazine.

 

“Knock knock!”

 

 _Bozhe moi! Not again!_ Taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly to control his annoyance, he asked, “Who is it?”

 

“Interrupting cow.”

 

“Interrupting co…”

 

“ _Moooo!_ ”

 

Leona thought this joke to be absolutely hysterical and fell down in the hall laughing. “Papa, that was so funny!” she said before getting up and dashing away.

 

Getting up carefully from his bed, he grabbed his crutches thinking, _I smell a big Italian French American rat and I have had enough!_ Moving as quietly as he could, he made his way to the side of the apartment that used to be next door until Napoleon bought it and had the wall torn down to make room for the three of them. As he neared their shared office, he could hear Napoleon coaching the little girl.

 

“OK, Leona, remember; when Papa says ‘Alex who?’ you say ‘Alex the questions ‘round here!’ OK?”

 

“OK, Daddy. Oh, hi, Papa.” Leona instinctively shrank back against Napoleon’s legs when she spied her Papa scowling at them.

 

“Hello, Baby Girl. I put a plate of cookies and a glass of milk on the kitchen table for us. You go wash your hands and sit at the table and I will be right there.”

 

“Thank you, Papa!” the toddler said before she began to walk quickly to the kitchen.

 

Napoleon watched as the only witness to the possible carnage about to happen left the area. “Ah, Illya, am I going to have cookies and milk, too?”

 

The Russian smirked and said, “It depends. Knock knock.”

 

Reluctantly, Napoleon asked, “Who’s there?”

 

“Al Hirt.”

 

“Al Hirt who?”

 

Illya glared daggers at his partner. “Al Hirt you really badly if I hear another ‘knock knock’ joke from our child. Have I made myself clear?”

 

Napoleon stood up from the desk and extended a hand. “Crystal. Let’s shake on it.”

 

The two men solemnly shook hands and then, Napoleon led the way out of the office. “Cookies and milk, here we come.”


End file.
